


Write Your Hopes in My Heart

by Realta (Daniele)



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Getting Together, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Tags May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-29
Updated: 2016-02-09
Packaged: 2018-05-17 02:36:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5850844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daniele/pseuds/Realta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The last time he had noticed his tattoo, it was still the nondescript, vine-like squiggles most ninjas and a few civilians were born with. The mark that meant they had a soul mate somewhere out there. But now... They were his soul mate's deepest thoughts. He had met his soul mate, and had no idea when.</p><p>Taken from a prompt on NaNoWriMo's group.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Missed Meetings

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfic was one of the many I wrote during NaNoWriMo last year. It currently has 14,000 words, but it isn't finished yet. But, I promised a friend I would start uploading it, so I am.
> 
> The idea was taken from a prompt on one of several discussions on the facebook group of NaNoWriMo - what if you could read your soul mate's thoughts on your skin?
> 
> I really enjoy writing soul mate fanfics. If any of you would like me to give it a go at one of the prompts out there, please indicate it to me. I'm going to try the "Soul mate timer" one of these days.
> 
> This fanfic takes off right after the chuunin exams, and it'll follow canon as closely as I can get it to, at least up to a certain point in time (Naruto isn't losing his arm, for instance). I've also used some of Shippuden filler chapters in the setting. And, yes, I'm well aware what it means for a ninja to have his deepest thoughts tattooed on someone else's arm. That's one major way that canon will change. I don't think I need to warn for violence, considering this is a Naruto fanfic, but consider yourselves warned.

Naruto often sat on the head of the fourth Hokage, staring at his forearm, it was something that he did since he was a small child.

A great dark blue tattoo was scrawled across his forearm. His soul mate tattoo. Almost all ninjas had them, and just as many of the civilians did not. Because having a soul mate was usually a sign that the child had good ability for molding chakra, parents would use it as a sign their children should be enrolled in the academy to become ninjas.

For Naruto, that tattoo had an important meaning. When he was a child, sitting alone, watching the other children play... That tattoo meant that one day he would no longer be alone. It meant there was someone out there waiting for him... and when he met her, they would never have to be alone again.

It was a silly dream that he had clung to over the years. Even when he was a twelve year old, and well aware that soul mates could hate each other, and they could even be unlucky enough to never meet. But for some reason, those were rare... And if you had a soul mate and never met them, you could always fill the void with a Blank partner.

Sasuke had a Blank tattoo. It was a strange thing to see – it looked like vines full of small leaves and thorns like his, but instead of being filled with a solid colors, it was only the outline with barely any detail to it. It was ugly, in Naruto's opinion. His own tattoo, or even Sakura's, they were both much prettier to see.

But because of his blank tattoo, he could take anyone who he wished to in a soul bond. Because of that, every girl of their age range was head over heels in love with the bastard.

Naruto didn't understand why. He would much rather meet the one and only who matched his tattoo. When he had been a small child – about six years old or so – he would stare at his own tattoo all the time he met a new girl, in the hopes the vines would have changed.

Because, if someday he met her, the lower vines would begin to look like words – his soul mate's deepest fears and desires. If he touched her, the upper vines would also change, and begin to describe her feelings for him. Soul mates had unique bonds, it was said such a couple could easily attain perfect synchronization when they went on a mission or fought together. If you were powerful enough, you could even hear your soul mate's thoughts once you consummated the bond.

But as the years passed, and he didn't meet his soul mate. Of every girl he met, all ignored him, and none seemed to even make his tattoo tingle. Not that he though it should tingle. He had heard adults say it could hurt when your soul mate died, but never when you first met her.

By the time Naruto was eleven, he didn't check his tattoo as often anymore. Some times, he went out of his way not to look at it for days. He always regretted it and peeked – because he was terrified one day he might meet her and miss it. But this day never came, and the period of time he remained outright avoiding looking at his arm went from days to weeks, to months.

Until, one day, he missed the day he should have looked at it and seen.

It was Sakura who caught his mistake.

Naruto was still half asleep when he arrived on his team meeting – he didn't know why he still bothered coming so early when Kakashi sensei was always late. But fact was, he was tired, and he wasn't paying attention, so he cried out and jumped when Sakura suddenly shrieked, grabbed his arm and pulled his sleeve up just after he had stretched.

"Naruto, you met...!" she began, but was abruptly cut off when his forearm was revealed. He gaped at the cursive letters elegantly curving over his skin – his soul mate's handwriting, definitely, because they didn't look like the default letters some small kids had. "...You _touched_ your soul mate! When did _that_ happen?" she demanded, her eyes wide.

His own mouth had dropped open as he stared down at his arm. The last time he had noticed his tattoo, it was still the nondescript, vine-like squiggles of those who were still unmatched.

"I... I don't know." he stared at the script with wide eyes. Then, he felt pride and happiness swell in his chest when he saw the first line of words his tattoo was now displaying. ' _He's the most amazing ninja I have ever met._ ' That was what she thought about him, that line would only appear after you touched your mate. "She thinks I'm amazing." he said, laughing in delight. Sasuke had walked up to them and was staring down at his arm.

"She's obviously stupid. You didn't even notice your tattoo had changed." Sakura snapped. After a few seconds, she looked horrified. "Do you even shower, Naruto?"

"Of course I do! I just have better things to do than stare at my own body! I'm not in love with myself, like the bastard." he pointed out heatedly, feeling his cheeks burn at having to admit he hadn't noticed his tattoo was different at all, even though he did avoid looking at his arm most of the time. In fact, the last time he remembered staring down at his tattoo, it had been shortly before they had arrived from wave country – because he had forgotten to check it while he was there, to see if he had met his soul mate. It seemed he had met her now, though! It was so exciting!

"You're the worst ninja ever, Naruto. If your tattoo was an enemy ninja, you would be dead. Your soul mate is probably as stupid as you if she can't see that." Sakura's comment was rather biting. He was kept from whining about it by Sasuke's somber voice.

"Her life doesn't sound very cheerful." he pointed out grimly. Naruto's eyes ran over the second line, the most important thoughts inside his soul mate's mind at the moment.

' _They didn't expect me to survive that mission._ ' it stated, blunt and cold. Naruto felt ice run through his veins. She had been sent on a suicide mission? But... he didn't even know who she was yet! She couldn't die.

"When did you meet her, Naruto?" Sakura asked.

"I didn't notice." he mumbled, still worried about her. His most important person, ever. His soul mate.

Sakura huffed and hid his arm with his sleeve again. "You didn't notice. Do you at least know if it was after the chuunin exams, or during it?" she wondered.

"Hm. His soul mate is probably some poor sod from some backwater village. She's as dumb and clueless as him, if she didn't notice it either." Sasuke snorted.

Naruto was too dismayed at the mere idea she didn't live in Konoha to feel offended at Sasuke's insult.

Kakashi decided to arrive early – or rather, not too late – and Naruto didn't have time to think about his mate anymore.

That night, however, he felt depressed as he looked at his tattoo. He was delighted and proud that his soul mate believed him a awesome ninja, but what depressed him was that she had been close enough for him to touch, and yet he didn't know who she was.

Did she notice her tattoo changing? Didn't she tell it to him because she was ashamed of him?

He read the writing again. "She's proud of me. That's can't be it." he whispered to himself out loud, trying to shoo away his self doubt and fear.

A frown turned down his lips when he read the second line once again, which was still unchanged from that afternoon. It sounded like she was a ninja, and she had been set up to die. Naruto hated that... he couldn't lose his soul mate before even meeting her.

But... Maybe he would never do it. It was easy to find your soul mate when the tattoos first changed but... was it even possible to know who they were if he missed the opportunity? It probably wasn't.

"Sasuke's right, I'm so dumb. I'll probably die alone, now." he murmured as he squeezed his eyes closed.

He wouldn't give up, though. If he had to talk with all the girls he met during the chuunin exams, he would find her! He knew she hadn't died during the exam – otherwise he would have a Blank tattoo like Sasuke's.

"Yes. I'm going to start searching for her tomorrow!" he decided, announcing out loud to the darkening skies. After a few seconds in the silence, he returned home and went to bed.

 

\- - - - -

 

Gaara's life had changed completely since the chuunin exams in Konoha. Most of the changes in it he could attribute to Naruto... He had made him see just how wrong he had been. Gaara had spurned love, but all along, his uncle had been right. Love was something very precious. It could also lend you endless strength.

Which was why he was staring down at his forearm now. It was blank, still completely covered by his sand, because he couldn't gather the nerve to allow the sand to melt away. By his will, his sand had always hidden his tattoo from people's view. He hadn't looked at his tattoo since the night he had killed Yashamaru, and now he knew he would regret it if his tattoo was no longer inactive. Love was important... He needed to know who his soul mate was, so he could offer him his love.

He knew his soul mate was a he. Gaara was seldom interested in other people's bodies, but in the rare moments his eyes had lingered, it had never been over a woman. If he had guessed as much from so little information, he was sure his bond wouldn't be mistaken about his gender preferences, and the bonds very rarely, if ever, went against them.

But, no matter how long he stared at his arm, he couldn't summon enough courage to let the sand go. He closed his eyes and took several deep breathes. As his body began to relax, and his anxiety started to recede, he let the sand slowly fall away, almost completely out of its own volition. Then, he took a deep breath and stared at his tattoo.

The sight of it shocked him.

He had met his soul mate... Not only that, he had also touched him, which was a huge surprise. No one ever touched him. The words written in his arm stole completely his attention away from that fact, however. He almost forgot how to breath as pain filled his chest when he saw the simple sentence, ' _I really pity him_ '.

...His soul mate pitied him. Gaara closed his eyes and felt a bitter smile turn his lips. He really should be grateful. Whoever his soul mate was, he could have felt fear, terror, or even hate for him. But all he felt was pity.

He stared up at the moon, taking a moment to ponder on exactly why that was. Then, he tried to remember who had touched him. That was hard to remember. In the seven years since he had decided never to look at his tattoo again, he had fought several people. Contact between bodies might have happened – though he had never believed anyone was even capable of touching him and not dying. His tattoo wasn't Blank, however. He hadn't killed his soul mate.

Who did he know, whom he had touched, that would be capable of pitying him? Baki, maybe? A frown turned down his lips. That was unlikely, but the man hid his tattoo. Maybe...

If it was Baki, would he be able to turn to him with this information? Gaara felt a cold chill over his heart. Maybe he wasn't ready to accept his soul mate yet. More than that, he wasn't sure he could endure being wrong about his conjecture. He would wait and watch, and try to figure out who was it without asking around. Whoever the man was, he was probably aware of his bond with him. He would start paying better attention to the way ninjas of Suna acted around him.

 

\- - - - -

 

Naruto had hunt down all the girls from Konoha that he had met on the chuunin exams – even the scary examiner lady. Most of them had laughed in his face when he asked them about their soul mates, others had ignored him, but all of them gave him a certainty.

His soul mate wasn't a Konoha ninja.

He sat down on a boulder in the training field and despaired as he waited for his team mates.

"Naruto? Why are you moping?" he didn't look up when he heard Sakura's curious tone of voice.

"I'm not moping." he mumbled, but he didn't sound convincing to his own ears. He sounded pitiful at best.

"You're rubbing your arm. Are you still worried about your soul mate?" she guessed, and he felt a pang of pain on his chest as he turned around and glimpsed her exposed tattoo. She had a soul mate, but she hadn't met him yet.

"I missed her. I'll likely never find her again. That was really stupid of me." he told her weakly, kicking a stone by his foot.

"What are you talking about? You're always so optimistic, Naruto! You should know you can find her again!" she tried to cheer him up. Naruto looked up after a few moments, and whatever it was she read on his face, her expression fell. "Oh, Naruto..." she sighed loudly and knelt by his side.

He didn't say anything. After several minutes, Sakura began softly, "...You know. I'm really terrified that will happen to me someday. That's why I never cover my tattoo." she looked down, studying the patterns on her arm. "So I can't comfort you. I can imagine how much it would hurt, being in your position. All you can do now is hope that she knows who you are, and that she will return for you someday. I mean, she thinks you're awesome, right?"

Naruto glanced at the tattoo on his arms. The words had changed several times over the passing of the days, but still they gave him the impression that, whoever she was, she deeply admired him. He also had the impression she was very much alone and constantly in danger, which only disheartened him even more. He wanted to be there for her, to make her company. To protect her.

At the moment, his tattoo said, ' _I really want to be like him, someday'._ _'I need to show people how much I've changed'_ , both sentences were particularly optimistic, which wasn't saying much. He really wished he knew who she was, so he could help her. She was as lonely as he was – if not more – and it wasn't fair they both felt so lonely when they had each other.

"Yeah." he agreed finally. Then, he forced himself to grin to his team mate, even if the optimism didn't reach his soul. "You're right, Sakura! There's no use moping! I'll find her someday." he announced boldly, confidently.

But, deep within his heart, his only certainty was that he wasn't going to see his soul mate ever again. If she was so lonely, she was probably too shy to talk with other people. As often as she was in danger, she was likely going to get herself killed before he could find out who she was.

He really hoped he was wrong.


	2. Misunderstandings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part of this chapter happens around the Shippuuden Filler episodes 394-414, the most annoying filler to ever exist in Shippuuden, if only because of where exactly they placed it. They're the chuunin exams where most of Naruto's colleagues became chuunin. If you haven't watched, and don't want to, the only relevant information is that a man attempts to steal Shukaku off Gaara, and Neji saves him, along with Rock Lee and Tenten, as well as Matsuri's team.
> 
>  
> 
> This chapter is one of those which was written on NaNoWriMo. I've tried to fix inconsistencies, but if I missed anything, please warn me.
> 
> Enjoy the chapter!

As the days passed, Naruto started getting used to the idea he would be one of those people who never had their soul mates by their side.

It wasn't uncommon. Several ninja just hid their arms and pretended they had no tattoo. A lot of adults had Blanks, and they never bothered to make a match with anyone. Jiraiya and Tsunade themselves had Blank tattoos.

It was still hard for him to endure, but he didn't show that outward. His mask was as good as ever, and Sakura had soon stopped trying to give him advice, and had instead gone back to treating him as usual – if maybe a little more sympathetically and just a tad less violently.

Going on missions distracted him. Another way to distract himself that Naruto had found was extremely effective was training and training until he passed out on his bed from exhaustion. He was too tired to even think, let alone notice his tattoo most days. His relationship with his teammates suffered a little, but they surely understood he just needed a little time to get used to everything.

One of the missions he was sent to, surprisingly, was shared with Gaara of the Sand in person.

Seeing Gaara again was definitely a strange experience.

Naruto felt odd around him. He wasn't sure he could explain the feeling, but he didn't even try to scrutinize it when Sakura suggested to him he might be scared senseless of his fellow jinchuuriki. As if Naruto Uzumaki was scared of anyone! Granted, Gaara could turn into a gigantic sand monster, but still! He was definitely not scared of him. He had defeated him once, and he surely could do it again!

Not that he needed to.

Gaara had changed. He had really changed.

He was giving importance to his comrades now. He wasn't the insane murderer Naruto had fought nearly to death against.

Most important of all... Naruto could see he was feeling better. The darkness and the pain that had been in his eyes were much dimmer now, and he also saw hope when he looked into them.

That made Naruto really happy for him.

In the end, even if his team had needed no help at all to finish that mission, he had been glad to do a joint mission with Gaara. If only just to get the opportunity to see that he was healing... Just like Naruto had healed.

The sparkle of electricity he had felt when he had patted his shoulder, the feeling was immediately shoved to the darkest corners of his mind, never to be scrutinized again.

Not that he even had time to, because not long after that mission, his mind became too occupied with Sasuke to dwell on anything else.

 

\- - - - -

 

The mission Gaara shared with Naruto Uzumaki's team was one of many he took in his quest to become a better person.

He had been glad to know Naruto was assigned that mission. To tell the truth, Gaara also felt... a little unbalanced around him, and he couldn't quite answer to himself why, either.

There was something about Naruto... He struggled to reach the exact reason he felt odd around him, but it was like a word he knew but couldn't remember. A thought at the back of his mind that he couldn't reach no matter how much he tried to.

He tried to ignore the feeling, and mask his reaction to him. But at one point, Naruto had placed his arm around his shoulders, and the strangest feeling washed over him. Gaara was unused to any sort of display of affection – public or otherwise – and he felt a rush of warmth and electricity surge through his body that startled and embarrassed him. He was thankful Naruto didn't seem to notice how unsettled he was, but he saw the blond's cheeks redden when he removed his arm from his shoulders.

That night, when they camped out in the desert, he couldn't get Naruto out of his head as he stared up at the stars. He hadn't looked at him with any sort of interest before, but after he had so casually thrown his arm over his shoulders... Gaara's cheeks heated up when he felt his body stir merely thinking about him. He couldn't help but feel sexual attraction for the blond now that the feeling had been sparked. At the same time he wanted it to stop, he also felt intrigued by it. Sexual attraction never bothered him before, but he had never before felt it towards someone who wasn't a nameless stranger.

Naruto was really attractive... He probably had never seen him in that light before because they had been enemies. He had fought against him, and he was from a village with which his own was about to go in war against. But now that he had considered it, and seen the blond with these eyes, he couldn't unsee just how attractive Naruto really was.

Hopefully his attraction wouldn't interfere on their relationship in a negative way. He... would like to be friends with Naruto someday. But, truth be told, he was too hesitant to take the initiative and actually try to do it. All it would take would be exchanging of letters. Both of them probably could use it – to speak about the grievances of being a jinchuuriki.

 

\- - - - -

 

But in the end, he was too much of a coward for too long. When he finally got the courage to write to Naruto, the blond was already gone from Konoha, and untraceable. He knew why Jiraiya was hiding them – Jiraiya himself had given him some information on the Akatsuki, sparse advice for him to keep on guard.

At least he had gotten the opportunity to say goodbye, in some way, when his team had been sent to Konoha in the Uchiha rescue mission. That had been one year ago...

...Now, as surprising as it was, he was on his way to becoming Kazekage.

When he had told his brother he was going to become a kage, despite the conviction in his words, he hadn't really expected for this ambition to be achieved so quickly. Yet... the political climate was surprisingly favorable for him. He had opposition, that was a fact. What surprised him was the amount of allies he also had – some believed he could be a good Kazekage because he was one of their strongest ninja, others wanted it because he had the blood of the previous Kazekages in his veins, some even wanted both and liked him because he was the strongest of his siblings. He didn't know the reasons for several others to support him, but the fact was that they did.

He was in disbelief at how much support he had gathered in mere months since he had begun working on becoming Kazekage. It made him think that he had a very real chance... and he really wanted to tell that to Naruto. To tell him that he was well on the way to become someone who mattered because he was protecting his people – just like Naruto wanted to be. Just like he had taught him.

"Gaara?" he looked up when Temari called to him. He had felt her approach, but his sister would just stand there and observe him for a few minutes during the night, sometimes. She rarely interacted with him. "It's too cold, you should come inside."

"I'm fine." he murmured in answer, then returned his attention back to the stars. He heard his sister sigh, and was surprised when he felt a night robe be wrapped around his shoulders.

"At least dress properly. You're going to get sick, wearing nothing but a long sleeved shirt in this cold." she admonished. He studied her closely. Merely a year ago, his sister would never have done this. That wasn't such long time... and yet...

"I'll be fine." he replied softly, letting his sand cover her shivering form with her own clothes once again, keeping to himself his remark that he had worn light clothes for years outside, and he was still alive. He didn't want to make her feel guilty. "The sand keeps me warm." It was actually Shukaku's chakra which did, but saying that also wasn't the best idea.

Her lips parted in surprise, and then realization filled her expression. He watched her in curiosity as her eyes went down to his right forearm – at the moment covered by both his sand and the light shirt. He deduced she had been thinking about his soul mate tattoo when she placed a hand over her own, so he wasn't surprised when she asked.

"I... never considered that. Do you have a...?" then she frowned. "Your sand doesn't cover your birth marks." she concluded, without finishing her question, looking at the marks around his eyes.

His response to her was silent – he lifted his arm to show his forearm better and let the sand fall away, revealing his tattoo. His sister gasped, covering her mouth with her fingers.

"You've touched... Who is your soul mate?" she asked, surprised, studying the inscription on his arm. He studied it too – it had been quite a while since he had last seen his soul mate thinking he pitied him. Instead, it read, ' _I wish I was as strong as he is.'_ , and the second line usually had something to do with training and becoming strong lately.

Right now, it read ' _I need to be strong. I promised her I would bring him back'_ , Gaara didn't know what he was thinking of, but he had seen this sentence plenty of times before. He had deduced that his soul mate had a girlfriend whom he loved a lot... which only made him melancholic, but it couldn't be helped. You couldn't choose who you loved, and sometimes it wasn't your soul mate.

"I don't know. I met my soul mate when I didn't believe in love, so I kept my tattoo always covered. The first time I uncovered it, it had already changed." his sister grimaced in sympathy at his words. Then, she sighed.

"Do you think she's a Suna ninja? I mean... most likely she is. You were never allowed outside until not long ago." she remarked. Gaara wasn't sure if he should correct his sister on the use of the gender but... it was really just a hunch on his part. Even if he was gay, he could have somehow been very unlucky and been paired with a woman. That was extremely rare... but it might have happened, specially considering his belief that his soul mate had a girlfriend – and thus might not be attracted to men.

"It's the most likely option." he agreed. He had left the village a few times, but he hadn't touched many people and allowed them to live while outside. Unless...

His shoulders tensed and his eyes widened in shock as he remembered clearly just who had touched him quite a bit, who was as obsessed with training as his soul mate was. The Konoha ninja Rock Lee. His lips dropped open, and after a few seconds, he felt his embarrassment heat up his body and warm up his cheeks.

"Gaara...?" his sister watched him with surprise. "Do you know who she is?" she took a guess from his posture, most likely, he doubted she could see his blush.

"M-Maybe." he murmured. It made sense – it made a lot of sense, in fact. Rock Lee was obsessed with training, and after he had unfairly broken so many of his bones, the ninja had taken a big hit to his ego, and developed a huge wish to become stronger and prove himself. He remembered how dedicated he had been in the mission of Sasuke's retrieval, and the thoughts of wanting to be stronger started to appear shortly after that, once he had recovered physically.

Rock Lee would have pitied him. He also often told him how strong he believed Gaara was.

He also had a clear crush on Sakura, and he knew through Naruto that Sakura liked Sasuke. It wouldn't be far-fetched for him to think Rock Lee had promised her to bring Sasuke back from wherever Orochimaru had taken him. He looked down at his arms again and read _'_ _I promised her I would bring him back_ _'_ _._ He took a deep breath.

"Who do you think she is?" he looked up at her, unsettled, and quickly shook his head.

"It... It doesn't matter. It's not like..." It wasn't like Rock Lee would ever want to be together with the man who crushed his dreams of becoming an exceptional ninja. He felt the guilt eat at him once again, this time even stronger than before. "We won't ever be together. It doesn't matter." he finished, his voice softer. He really regretted his words, but they were nonetheless true. Rock Lee would never want him... not after everything he had done.

"You shouldn't assume such a thing without speaking to her first, Gaara. She admires you at least a bit, if you pay attention to your tattoo." he made his sand cover up his tattoo once again as Temari pointed at it. His sister sighed.

"My soul mate deserves someone better than me to share... her life with. If she missed our meeting, then it's for the best." he said softly but with his words sure. Temari didn't look happy, but she also didn't seem willing to argue.

"I suppose that's a decision you should make. But remember, Gaara, she deserves an input on this too. Give her a chance to choose whether she wants you as her partner or not, before deciding she wants someone else." he looked away and back at the stars without giving his sister a response.

Temari sighed heavily, but didn't say anything else. After a couple of minutes, she walked away and left him alone to think. Though he had been calm before, his calm was now shattered by this new revelation. A part of him had hoped – even if in a distant way – that someday he would be able to get together with his soul mate. But... Rock Lee would never want him.

He spent the rest of the night thinking about Rock Lee with a heavy heart.

 

\- - - - -

 

Naruto had a really bad feeling deep in his heart. He had been feeling antsy, and an indescribable ache for a while now, but it seemed to get worse and worse as time went by. He thought he was doing a good job hiding it, so he was surprised when Jiraiya suddenly fell out of combat instance.

"Let's take a break, Naruto. You're not paying attention to this fight." he smiled nervously and scratched his cheek.

"Eh, Pervy sage... I'm sorry, I'm just... distracted." he finished with a mutter, his hand going down to grip his shirt, right over his heart. That was were he was feeling the pain the most, but his whole body ached a bit. He couldn't tell if he was just fatigued from training too much.

Jiraiya studied him, and after a few moments of intense staring, he looked away and grunted. "Go have a bath. I'll whip up something we can eat."

Naruto didn't argue. A bath actually did him good – the hot water seemed to relax him, and even if the strange pain didn't seem to go away, he felt soothed and calmed a little bit.

He didn't bother putting on fighting clothes – he only donned a baggy shirt and loose pants, then joined his teacher. He didn't really feel like making conversation, but he made an effort. "So, when are we going on to the next village?" he wondered. It had been a while since they had settled in those woods, after all, and Jiraiya was never in the same place for long.

"Not quite yet. We will return to Konoha soon." Naruto perked up when he heard that. "Our training is nearing its end." he felt a surge of delight overwhelm him at these words.

"You're saying you have nothing else to teach me?" he asked, feeling hopeful and confident. Jiraiya raised an eyebrow, then scoffed at him.

"I don't have more time to waste on you, more like it. You have many, many things to work on still, kid, specially your ego." he burst Naruto's happy bubble just like that.

He took a breath to complain, but it rushed out of his lungs with a sharp hiss of pain when he felt a stabbing pain on his heart. He placed his hand there as his chest continued to ache and throb even after the sharp pain was gone. Now his head was starting to throb in pain too, near his temples.

Jiraiya's expression became more serious as he walked up to him and gently took his right arm, exposing his forearm. Naruto looked down almost on reflex, and he froze in shock when he read the words, ' _I'm going to die'_.

"W-What!?" he demanded, looking up at his sensei as if he had an answer. Jiraiya looked like he did have an answer. The adult seemed to ponder for a long time on what to say, as if he wasn't quite sure how to put it to words. "Just tell me." he sounded like he was begging – that's how desperate he felt.

"Your soul mate is dying, kid. That's why you're feeling pain." Naruto looked up with his eyes wide, his lips parted to let out words that were stuck in his throat. After several seconds of silence, Jiraiya shook his head. "I'm sorry." At these words, Naruto could suddenly move again.

"N-No! I haven't even met her yet! She can't die!" he cried out. Jiraiya only looked grim and stood tersely as if he didn't know what to say or do. "You're pulling my leg, right? It's a joke, isn't it?" he demanded, desperately waiting for the man to burst out laughing. Jiraiya did have a sense of humor on him – it was usually dirty, but he had never seen the man make such a cruel joke before. Jiraiya knew just how important Naruto's soul mate was to him, too.

Which was why he wasn't surprised when he answered firmly. "It's not a joke. I felt the same way, when my soul mate passed away. I can see it on you, you're feeling the same." he explained with a shake of his head.

Jiraiya had shown him his Blank mark, and he had explained that once it hadn't been blank. Just like Naruto, he had missed knowing who his soul mate was, because he had been unconscious in a hospital when she had touched him and triggered the change in their tattoos. But his soul mate had died around the time of the Uzushio massacre, and after it had happened, his tattoo had slowly faded away. After a few days, it was wasn't completely gone, but it didn't look like a bonded couple's tattoo any longer – it looked like a Blank tattoo instead.

"No..." Naruto gasped, looking down at his tattoo again. This time, he read both lines on his skin. The first line read, ' _She acts so much like him... I_ _miss him._ ', and the second line read, ' _I'm going to die._ _I was careless_ '. "No." he denied again.

She was missing him! That meant they must be more than simply acquaintances. That was the first indication of that he had ever read in his words. That must mean she was from Konoha, he just hadn't looked hard enough. Knowing that, he couldn't lose her now!

He nearly jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder, but then relaxed when Jiraiya rubbed it, in an attempt to comfort him. "Go lie down and rest a little, Naruto. The pain is going to get worse before it gets better." his voice was strangely soft and sympathetic.

Naruto felt his eyes burn, and seconds later they were overflowing with tears as he stared at his forearm. "She can't be..." his voice became weaker until it was gone and he couldn't finish the sentence.

He didn't fight as Jiraiya pulled him off the chair and pushed him towards the bedroom. Once he was lying down on the bed, he curled around his arm and cried.

He laid there for long time, just staring at the changing words. Until he felt his mind hazy, emotionally spent. He was looking, but not really seeing, so when he paid attention to the words again, he was shocked. His tattoo read, ' _I really_ _wish he was here_ ' and ' _I'm alive. I can't believe I'm alive'_.

He felt hope wash over him and give him back some strength. He almost fell back on the bed when he tried to stand, but he didn't allow it to deter him as he ran towards the sitting room crying out, "Pervy sage!"

Jiraiya was sitting on a chair by the window, watching the trees outside as he nursed a mug of tea. He turned to him askance when he heard him cry out the nickname he had given him. "You should be resting, not running around, Naruto."

"Here, does this mean she's alive?" he demanded, shoving his arm in front of the man. Jiraya was startled for a second before his eyes ran over his tattoo.

"Are you still in pain?" he wondered.

"I... I feel exhausted, and my body hurts all over, but my chest isn't hurting as much as it was before." he said slowly as he accessed his body. His head still hurt, but the pain was different. Jiraiya grinned.

"I would say your girl is a stubborn little brat just like you." Naruto's face split into a huge smile at the man's confirmation of his hope. He started laughing in relief as strongly as he had cried, and his body shook from the effort. He felt so exhausted... Jiraiya stood and patted his head. "Come on. You look read to pass out. Go take a nap. You still deserve a break from training today."

 

\- - - - -

 

The chuunin exams were over, and Gaara hadn't managed to work up the courage to tell Rock Lee they were soul mates.

During his brush with death, he had seen just how much the other man cared – he had seen in his arm that Rock Lee was worried sick about him, even if it didn't seem to show as much when he had seen the man face to face, when Rock Lee had rescued him. Still... when he had attempted to breach the subject with him, he found himself without words.

Rock Lee wasn't interested. He could tell – he had even tried to subtly flirt with him, but the man didn't respond at all. All flirting had gotten him was an amazed and shocked look from Lee's team mate Tenten, and an inquisitive look from Neji. Lee hadn't responded favorably to his advances even once.

He still had the chance, even now... After the failed end to the exams, the teams were still dispersing slowly to return to their homes. There were still several ninjas from Konoha in Suna, but he couldn't work up the courage to talk to him, knowing it was likely he would be rejected.

He was brought out of his introspection when he heard someone knock on his door. "Enter." he called loudly, turning around to glance at the door instead of watching the window.

"Kazekage-sama. There's a kunoichi from Konoha here to speak to you." one of his guards announced. He wondered who it was, and what she wanted with him.

"Send her in." he told the man, who saluted him and walked away. He was surprised to see Tenten walk cautiously into his office. "Tenten."

"Hello, Kazekage-sama. I'm sorry to take your time, but I..." she paused for a few seconds. Only after the door was closed behind her, she continued. "I couldn't help but notice you were... showing Lee some interest." she finished, her cheeks dark red.

Gaara steepled his fingers and watched her silently, neither denying her words or confirming them. Tenten looked flustered as the silence stretched. "W-Well! I don't... really see anything wrong with that, but, I just wanted to say that... Lee is dense as a door. If you try to be subtle with him, he will never get it that you're interested in him!" she said quickly. Gaara had already guessed as much. But she seemed to have something more to say, so he continued to watch her. "I also wanted to tell you that... well, I'm sorry, but Lee only likes girls." she finished, seeming sympathetic and sad for telling him that.

Gaara sighed. He had also already guessed as such. "I know." she was bewildered by his words. He continued. "I have reason to believe that he's my soul mate... that's why I was attempting to feel out his interest." she gaped at him.

"Soul mate?" she asked after several seconds in silence.

"Yes. It was after he touched me that my tattoo flared to life. I haven't been touched by many people in my life." he explained quietly. Tenten seemed like a close friend to Rock Lee – she would certainly find out sooner or later. Maybe she could help him tell Lee. He was surprised when the girl laughed – it sounded nervous and shaky, and he could tell she was laughing because something made her anxious, and not because she was mocking him.

"I-I see... But, um, I don't know how to tell you, Kazekage-sama..." she trailed off. He waited in silence as she gathered her thoughts, and after she cleared her throat loudly, she continued. "Well... There's no way you can be Lee's soul mate." she finished, her shoulders dropping.

"Why not?" he asked quietly. He wondered if the man had already met his soul mate, and he had somehow mistaken him for someone else. She shook her head.

"Lee doesn't have a soul mate. He has no tattoo, he never had one." Gaara was surprised by her words. She sighed heavily and shook her head. "They mocked him a lot for it when he was a kid. Nowadays, no one ever sees his arms naked anymore, with the exception of Neji and I. He doesn't have a soul mate tattoo. Whoever your soul mate is, he isn't Lee." she finished with a shake of her head.

Gaara's eyes widened, then he looked down at his forearm and stared at the words. "...He's so dedicated to his training. I thought..." his words trailed off.

"Hah!" she grinned. "Yeah, Lee can be very passionate about training, but I guess there are a lot of other ninjas like that. I mean, we met one Suna ninja who seemed just as passionate about it." she pointed out cheerfully.

"Shiira." he murmured quietly, knowing the two of them had fought during the exams. She quickly nodded her agreement.

"Yup! There are a lot of ninjas who can think about nothing but training. I suppose you saw it on your arm, right?" he nodded silently. She blushed and rubbed her hidden tattoo. "Well... There are weeks my soul mate will think about nothing more than training. Specially when we were younger." he lowered his eyes to his own tattoo.

"It's a good thing I haven't told him. I would have embarrassed myself." he said after a few silent moments.

Tenten laughed again. "Don't worry about that! Lee wouldn't mock you, nor anything. If anything, he would just try and help you find your real soul mate. But he's just too stupid to realize you were coming on to him, you know?" she finished with a exasperated shrug. "I came here to let you know you needed to be a lot more direct, but if you were just hitting on him because you were mistaken..." she trailed off.

"I was." he agreed simply. "I'm... not usually interested in relationships, but... Being at least friends with my soul mate is important to me." he told her quietly. She grinned at him.

"I can understand that! It's the same for me, really. I'm not much into the idea of marrying and retiring, and I don't think Ne... my soul mate really wants to have a wife either. But being his friend is important to me." she watched him with a saddened expression. "I really hope you can find your soul mate."

"... I doubt it's possible by this time." he told her quietly, shaking his head. "My guess was clearly wrong, and I have no idea who else he could be."

"You'll find him!" she was optimistic. "In the worst hypothesis, all you really need to do is go after all the training freaks you have ever met and touch their arms." she suggested, but by her tone, she seemed to think her suggestion was silly. Gaara was surprised.

"Touch them? Would I have any sort of sign from the bond if I touched...?" she looked surprised, then once again her hand covered her own tattoo.

"Hum, yeah! I guess you don't know how it feels like. Well... When I am around my soul mate, I always feel this comforting warmth. I can tell when he's nearby. When I touch him, it feels like electricity is running between us. It's ..." she blushed darkly. "The girls say you only feel it before you consummate the bond. But after you do, you can tell for sure who they are... Or so I have heard." she finished, embarrassed.

"Thank you. I didn't know about that." he bowed his head to her. She laughed nervously once again.

"Ha ha, don't mention that! Good luck finding your soul mate! But finding them a second time is a lot easier than finding them the first, I promise you!" she once again grinned as she announced with optimism.

That night, Gaara had a lot to think about as he sat on the terrace of his home, looking at the full moon on the clear sky. But, try as he might, he could remember no one who had ever elicited on him the feelings Tenten had talked about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way, someone was concerned about my tagging of several fics as Gaara/Naruto instead of Naruto/Gaara. Does anyone else feel this should be specified in the tags? (I'm just using the default tag, always, right now.)


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